Rasputin Speaks: 1.29.12

Most sublime Ask Rasputin correspondents,
When someone falls down on the ice is it okay to laugh or just walk away?
-Arabella


Dearest Arabella,


Thank you for your question. We are pleased to inform you that we have formulated an equation to identify exactly when laughing is appropriate when another person falls on the ice.
Please note the equation below:


L=1 if F>175, given that F = 50H + 15.2A + 20J
where
L=Laugh
F=Fallen person of interest
H= This refers to how badly hurt you presume an individual to be after falling. Input a 1 if the individual is not hurt, or a 0 if he or she is. 
A=Annoyance rank on a scale from 1-100. It is most humorous to see annoying people fall.
J=Jerkiness of the fallen on a scale from 1-100. This measure refers either to the fallen's personality or to the amount of Jamaican spices covering his or her body at the time of the fall. 


While an individual is falling through the air, input the relevant values and calculate the value for F (you may calculate the value of H at the time of the fall if necessary). If the value exceeds 175, laughing is acceptable. 


We hope you find this information useful. Please note that it applies to almost any accident, malady, or mishap. 


Our very warmest wishes,
The Ask Rasputin Team